Earlier this year I was subject to life at its most severe and suffered depression as a result. My own response was to make a fort out of my Duvet and not reappear for a few months. During this time I listened to audiobooks and I found extreme inspiration from these books and found that I was re introduced to a former love of history (15th – 17th century). I found people on Twitter that had the same affliction as myself and became so engaged with the fandom that my depression has faded back. I am now attempting to be social again and albeit I still have mass panic attacks when trying certain social situations, but I am coming out of my coma. So why do people become so critical of the method of my transition? When proselytizing the glories of my new authors (Diana Gabaldon and Deborah Harkness) I was met with snobbery and weird nostril noises that conveyed some sort of derision but to this day not really sure what catagory. I was forced to examine my method of delivery and content. Was I wrong to have come from depression delivered via fiction? Have found new life in an old passion for history? Where had my life not suited the appropriate pathway back to the living? Still unsure of why people must feel it necessary to have an opinion about it without just letting the individual be happy and spread the love? I have however come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter. I will chatter on about what makes me happy and listen without judgement on what makes you happy. I am okay if you think it is silly.
After being on social media for over a month I have deleted a 6 year old twitter acct and good riddance. I am currently trying to sell tickets to an author and group event. I want nothing to do with the fandom. What was once a wizened group of women with a strong love of both author, books and cast of show adaptation. However, the show gained popularity and it become all about the male lead on the show. The ‘most’ ridiculous repeated adoration of body parts, lip bites complete with animated gifs of said actions. Women getting offended the word penis being proffered in jokes but constantly campaigning to “see the sausage” of said actor.
I am saddened by the poor behaviour of grown to well wizened women. Catty games ensued as if the mere action of wishing on a twitter star would somehow enchant (poor dogged) actor into somehow magically appearing on their doorstep. I was there to support the show and seek others that had the same passion for the hard-working author that worked so diligently to make a great series of historically accurate books and for the newborn show.
All the depression that was walled by the shiny new community has just been re enforced that the world at large are Kardashin loving facile 30 second long and 1/2 an inch thick intelligence and no ability to connect to someone else’s humanity. The battle is lost and no one on the planet has gone unscathed. If there is an exception I have nar to find it.
This is Wendella’s disappointed heart.